Author Archives: Gary Harper, The Joy of Conflict Resolution

About Gary Harper, The Joy of Conflict Resolution

Gary Harper is the principal of Harper and Associates. He is a trainer, writer and facilitator who specializes in conflict resolution. Through his unique blend of experience as a personal injury lawyer, general manager, insurance regulator and retail store owner, he learned the value of clear communication and conflict resolution skills. Since 1991 he has trained and mediated in a wide variety of organizations - from health care to the film industry to many levels of government. He is a member of the instructional team of the Centre for Conflict Resolution at the Justice Institute of B. C. and recently authored The Joy of Conflict Resolution: Transforming Victims, Villains and Heroes in the Workplace and at Home.

JOURNEY THROUGH CONFLICT: STILL MORE TIPS FOR THE TRAVELLER

Posted on August 26, 2014 by Gary Harper, The Joy of Conflict Resolution

In the spirit of summer vacations, consider conflict as a journey to regain something we feel has been lost or taken from us. In the final chapter of The Joy of Conflict Resolution, entitled “Tips for the Traveler”, I asked … Continue reading →

Posted in conflict resolution | Leave a comment

The Opportunities of “I don’t know”

Posted on March 3, 2014 by Gary Harper, The Joy of Conflict Resolution

My wife and I recently returned from a wonderful three weeks in Costa Rica. The people were warm, peaceful and very helpful – sometimes too helpful. If they didn’t know the answer to a question, for example, they would make … Continue reading →

Posted in conflict resolution | Tagged assumptions, curiosity, I don't know | 1 Comment

The Joy of Intolerance

Posted on January 31, 2014 by Gary Harper, The Joy of Conflict Resolution

Like most of us, I viewed the term “intolerance” as negative and divisive – a source of conflict. But I recently re-thought my views after being introduced to the concept of a “toleration”. A toleration is something we find to … Continue reading →

Posted in conflict resolution | Tagged conflict, frustration, procrastination, tolerations | 1 Comment

“Wicked”? or Simply Misunderstood?

Posted on November 12, 2013 by Gary Harper, The Joy of Conflict Resolution

One of the highlights of a recent trip to New York was seeing the Broadway production of “Wicked” – the story of the Wizard of Oz from the perspective of Elphaba, the (Wicked) Witch of the West. Without revealing details … Continue reading →

Posted in conflict resolution, mindfulness | Tagged compassion and conflict, Wicked, Zig Ziglar | Leave a comment

Integrating Conflict Resolution Skills: More Tips for the Traveler

Posted on September 23, 2013 by Gary Harper, The Joy of Conflict Resolution

Following up on my most recent entry, here are some tips from colleagues in response to the question “how did you integrate the skills and concepts of collaboration?”. These tips focus on practicing the communication skills necessary to defuse situations … Continue reading →

Posted in conflict resolution | Tagged Communication, conflict resolution, listening skills, practicing conflict resolution | Leave a comment

Making Collaboration a Way of LIfe

Posted on May 29, 2013 by Gary Harper, The Joy of Conflict Resolution

Resolving conflict collaboratively is a way of life. Some have likened it to learning a new language. It does not happen overnight. It requires compassion, courage and perseverance to venture beyond the familiar roles of victim, villain and hero. Collaboration falls into … Continue reading →

Posted in conflict resolution, mediation, mindfulness | Tagged conflict resolution, mindfulness, self awareness | Leave a comment

Conflict Resolution Lessons from Lord of the Rings: I Will Take the Ring (Getting Started)

Posted on March 21, 2013 by Gary Harper, The Joy of Conflict Resolution

Conflict resolution entails a journey into the unknown. No matter how much we prepare, we can never know for sure how another will react to us or respond to our message. Not surprisingly, this uncertainty leads many to avoid conflict … Continue reading →

Posted in conflict resolution | Tagged conflict resolution, courage in conflict, Danaan Parry, Fellowship of the Ring, Warrior of the Heart | 1 Comment

Who Am I? Part 2: Jean Valjean and Inner Conflict

Posted on February 25, 2013 by Gary Harper, The Joy of Conflict Resolution

In her book, Fierce Conversations, Susan Scott writes that “all conversations are with myself and sometimes involve other people”. The same can be said of conflict – that all interpersonal conflict is accompanied by internal conflict, in which our values … Continue reading →

Posted in conflict resolution, mindfulness | Tagged conflict in the movies, conflict resolution, Downton Abbey, Fierce Conversations, internal conflict, Jean Valjean, Les Miserables, mindfulness, wise mind | Leave a comment

Who Am I? Part 1: Inspector Javert’s Suicide and Identity in Conflict.

Posted on February 12, 2013 by Gary Harper, The Joy of Conflict Resolution

A recurring theme in Les Miserables is the far from rhetorical question “who am I?” The protagonist, Jean Valjean, is thrice confronted by that question and his decisions define him as heroic. His nemesis, Inspector Javert, however, is unable to … Continue reading →

Posted in conflict resolution, mediation | Tagged conflict resolution, drama triangle of conflict, Folger and Bush, identity in conflict, Javert suicide, Les Mis, Les Miserables, Monk and Winslade, narrative mediation | Leave a comment

Conflict Lessons from Lord of the Rings: Faramir and the Fallen Foe

Posted on January 28, 2013 by Gary Harper, The Joy of Conflict Resolution

One of the highlights of my conflict resolution career was a national conference presentation entitled Conflict Lessons from The Lord of the Rings. This combined my passion for conflict resolution with my love of Tolkien’s powerful trilogy. The session explored … Continue reading →

Posted in conflict resolution | Tagged conflict resolution, drama triangle of conflictc, J. R. R. Tolkien, Lord of the Rings | 1 Comment