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Author Archives: Gary Harper, The Joy of Conflict Resolution
Revenge or Justice?
Despite the benefit of having a PVR to fast-forward through commercials, I recently stumbled across a lawyer’s television ad based on revenge as a motivator. The ad opened with a miserable looking middle aged woman sitting on the couch. Her … Continue reading
Posted in conflict resolution
Tagged Collaborative law, Divorce, justice, Princess Bride, restorative justice, revenge
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Would John Wayne Negotiate?
The clock ticks as high noon looms. Marshall Will Kane, abandoned by his townsfolk and facing overwhelming odds, ponders his next move. Does he board the noon train with his wife or does he stay and confront the man sworn … Continue reading
Nik Lewis Apology: Take 2
In my most recent blog, I commented on an insincere apology by football star Nik Lewis, following a failed an inappropriate attempt at twitter humour. I differentiated between a partial and insincere apology, such as “I’m sorry if any of … Continue reading
Posted in conflict resolution
Tagged Canadian Football League, full apology, Nik Lewis, OJ Simpson, twitter blunder
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Insincere apology follows inappropriate OJ Simpson reference on twitter
In an earlier blog (I’m Sorry – does it calm the waters or fan the flames?) I differentiated between types of apologies. A partial and insincere apology, such as “I’m sorry if any of my actions offended anyone” can easily … Continue reading
Mediation in the Movies
Ever since I began mediating in 1991, I wondered why there weren’t television shows or movies about mediators. As I began to understand the dynamics of conflict resolution, I realized why: “in story, nothing moves but for conflict” (Robert McKee … Continue reading
The Thrilla Adjacent to the Amigdilla
I thought of my neuroscience friends and colleagues when I heard the following dialogue from The Big Bang Theory. The conversation between Amy and Penny occurs after they have visited their boyfriends and observed another woman flirting with the men. … Continue reading
Ready? Set? Negotiate!
Two weeks ago, I was among the millions of disappointed, if not outraged fans who watched Monday Night Football. (I told my wife I was “researching” my blog – so I thought I had better follow through by drawing a … Continue reading
Posted in conflict resolution
Tagged BATNA, National Football League, negotiation, NFL, NHL, readiness, Roger Fisher, WATNA
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Escape from Victimhood: Fostering Accountability in Conflict
In conflict, we feel victimized. This is natural and normal. In most cases, the discomfort associated with this feeling motivates us to act. Some people, however, feed on the attention they receive (usually in the form of sympathy) and on … Continue reading
Posted in conflict resolution
Tagged conflict resolution; empowerment; victims in conflict, Phin
The Time and Place for Apologies
The following is an excerpt from my book, The Joy of Conflict Resolution. I decided to include this topic because I had seen so many situations in which “I’m sorry” simply fanned the flames instead of defusing a confrontation. Genuine … Continue reading
